Question: How should a person stop a poor habit that is very difficult to stop?

Answer: Thank you for your excellent question. You already have taken the first and most difficult step in beating any poor habit, and that is admitting that you have done something wrong and that you want to fix it.

There is no quick fix for anything, and no guarantee that you will stop forever, whatever it is, but it is always possible to control yourself, even whether it is very hard.

The next step you have to do, now that you confess you have a problem and want to fix it, is to believe that you can fix it. Rabbi Nachman of Breslov taught “whether you believe that you can damage something, believe you can fix it”. that is not only a nice saying, it is a reality of how G-d created the world, considering He gave us free will to choose within right and wrong, so whether we can do wrong, we must be able to do right. So believe that G-d gives you the capability to do the right thing and to beat that habit.

The next step is to pray to G-d to give you the potential to overcome that habit.

If the habit is a forbidden matter, you should do Teshuvah (undertake the path of return), by admitting your mistake verbally to G-d (called Vidui), feeling poor about it, and accepting to try to be better. whether you hurt other citizens, you plus should  ask their forgiveness.

Now, how to try to be better: start slow. whether you cannot always hold back, try to designate assured hours in the day, or even in the week, when you will be

careful not to do that poor habit. whether you have an hour every day when you are careful, additional careful, it will help you be better all the date.

Another piece of advice is to wear a bracelet or ring to help to remind you not to do that poor habit.

You can additionally save up some money for some item that you want to buy very much as your reward for being good. Put a little money aside every day or week when you refrain from that poor habit. whether you go a few weeks or a month without doing the poor habit, you can buy your reward, but whether you fail, you should give the money to Tzedakah (Charity), and start saving up for your reward anew.

Never give up, and never feel depressed whether you mess up; there is always a chance to do Teshuvah. The Talmud says that when we do Teshuvah out of fear, we are forgiven to the extent that an intentional sin is viewed as whether it was accidental. When we do Teshuvah considering we love Hashem, our sins are miraculously transformed to merits, as whether we did good deeds! that is considering the Teshuvah makes brings us closer to G-d and makes us better than before.

These are all good ideas, but once again, the main approach is to realize that the capability to do anything is not yours, but rather G-d’s, and He is the one who gives you strength and ability to do valiant deeds.

May G-d bless you to be strong and overcome that poor habit that you are seeking to beat.

Best Wishes,
Rabbi Yitzchak Kolakowski
Richmond, VA

Original post by ATR